Today life has become easy and enjoyable due to technology. Indeed interactions also happen digitally. We had experienced the advantage of technology during the lockdown due to Covid 19. Staying alone or single is not becoming an issue for many. Globally people are being single more than ever before.

The mindset of people is changing and many are choosing to live alone for their contentment. Since years in India, the topic of discussion is about the Indian women’s choice of being single. We can find tons of articles about “Single women in India”, but it’s very hard to find article or books related to “Single men in India”.

It is a fact that topics about “being single in India” are women-centric. But India has seen an increase in single men too over the past years. It is true that single women here face a lot of judgment and discrimination but it doesn’t mean that being single is easy for men. They are also facing a lot of suspicion from society.

Some people are single because they choose to be so. Some others due to the circumstances of their lives. Hence we cannot stereotype all single women or men. Each person has their own reasons to stay single. However, some common reasons are to free from family pressures, live life on their own terms, pursue their careers, overage, spiritual call etc.

According to census data, there was a 39% increase in the number of single women( widows, never married, divorced, abandoned) from 51.2 million in 2001 to 71.4 million in 2011. It also says 49.8% of men and 54.4% women in India never got married. According to the Sample Registration Survey Report, 2018, the highest number of single women living independently across India are in Tamil Nadu and Kerala.

The report mentioned that around 9.3% of women in Kerala and 9.2% of women in Tamil Nadu are single- widows, divorcees, or those living separately after marriage. There are a lot of reasons where women remain single. One among them is seeing the miserable life of other married women. For example, physical or psychological abuse related to dowry by in-laws and husband.

Sometimes it ends in suicide or murder. In fact, dowry death is still a threatening reality in India. Thus many women decided not to invite trouble into their life through marriage. Another reason is the demands of the groom’s parents. They always wanted a girl who is beautiful, educated, financially stable, and who can cook well too. In other words, they need an all-rounder.

As a result, some women experience continuous rejections and decide not to get married. Like women, men also have their own reasons to remain single. A study has shown that having poor looks, being short or bald, lack of confidence could be the reasons why a large number of men remain single.

Other reasons are the bad experience from a relationship, lack of money/job, fear of taking responsibility, shortage of brides, keep looking for fantasy partners, wanting to date lots of people etc. Nowadays, most women prefer men with a good job. Once men started looking for a girl to marry they faced questions regarding education, job, salary, savings, investment etc.

Since everyone wants their spouses to be perfect in their defined parameters, marriages either get delayed or never happen. In India singlehood, whether it is women or men, is still a natural disaster in the eyes of many. People feel pity for the one who is not married. They came to the assumption that there is something wrong with her/him.

The common question single people face is “who would take care of you when you are old”? In India, most people get married due to parental and societal pressure. Due to such pressures, some men or women rush into marriage and regret it later.

Furthermore never get marry for money or sex. If you feel that you need a companion in your life, think about that and move forward. Because marriage is a lifetime commitment where both should agree to a happy relationship forever. In a nutshell, living single as well as getting married is a genuine choice. Some people live their best and meaningful lives by living single and some by marrying.

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Director at Onatt Tech Pvt. Ltd. Corporate Trainer, Research Analyst and Relationship Coach

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